This is kinda the wordy blog.

And wordy it will be. Oh, and I haven't written in months. I miss it a lot.

I'm currently into the second semester of college and god, I am hating it a lot. The schedule sucks, the fact that I got sick for a week kind of sucks, and the National Service Training Program sucks. That, by the way, is mandatory for every college student. On the plus side, it's only for a year and I'm halfway through it. But it takes up my Saturdays and I can't go home because of them.

My Monday classes start at 7 am, too. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is that the first class is English. Last semester my English teacher sucked as a teacher. This semester my English teacher is an asshole, and no, I am not exaggerating it.

I missed classes for almost a week, from the 10th to the 15th of November (the 16th was declared a holiday). I got to meet the English teacher back when classes started on the 8th. Unfortunately she wasn't our actual teacher because the list of classes they were to handle weren't finalized yet. When they did, we ended up with this...jackass.

I'm being kind calling him a jackass. At least I'm not saying he's an unmotivated little bitch which he said I was. That's something, saying you know all there is to know about a person after you've been in the same room for an hour and talked for five minutes.

No, he didn't say I was an unmotivated little bitch. It was only implied, which makes it a lot worse. Jackass. Just because my greatest dream is to sit pretty doesn't mean I'm an ungrateful brat who's used to getting what she wants. Just because that's my dream doesn't mean I'm less motivated than the blind kid whose greatest dream is to graduate from college. I don't think like that blind kid, does that make me less motivated? Is it wrong to think long-term? I don't say my greatest dream is to graduate because after that, then what? I'm done with my dream and I can die now? No.

Just because you've taught for 21 years doesn't make you entitled to assume that your students are this and that. You don't have to drag me down to Assville because you live there.

Perspective

I took up a job at this writing troupe thing where the people do freelance writing for various clients. A few nights ago one of the co-heads of this writing troupe decided he needed to impart some food for thought through the Internet. He tried to call, but I refused, because I like the barrier set by the Internet. We communicate through written words, nothing more, nothing less.

He asked me how long I usually take to write a composition. I told him it takes me anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours, and these are articles that comprise of my thoughts.

He told me it takes him 15 to 20 minutes to come up with his articles. These articles are not unlike the articles you see in about.com or on wikihow.com. Simply put, these are articles with minimal research and no sentimental value. Oh, and I need to write at least 500 words.

I was thinking of telling him a few things about me but I thought it would be unwise, so I'd lay them down here.

One, I live in a world where an attention span of five minutes is considered a feat. Two, I was trained to convey my thoughts with the fewest number of words. Sentences are shorter, and beating around the bush is boring. Occasionally I can write over 500 words, but usually they fall short. Which kind of sucks.

I just needed that out of my system, thanks. I shouldn't be interrupted whenever I write because I lose track of what I'm supposed to write.

A black blog is nice.

It doesn't hurt my eyes because I don't have to strain to read the words. But then again, this is a very wordy blog, so I think it's best if I used bright colors.

Isn't PostSecret lovely? Personally I like it a lot better than Emerson Spartz's Six Billion Secrets. You get something new. It's not all "I was raped" and "I did it for you and you didn't notice me". I'm tired of that. It's the same every day.

You should go to OMG Facts though.

A little something I want to write about:

I'm a few days late, but I only got the whole story yesterday when I pestered my friend into telling me the whole story.

First of all, I'm a Filipino citizen. Born and raised and living in the Philippines. I went to Philippine Science High School and am now in a state university. My surname's Chinese but I can't speak a word or it (okay, maybe a word or two). It doesn't change the fact that I was born a Filipino citizen and I don't think I'd want it any other way.

Second, the population of the Philippines is approximately 92 million. That's a lot of people. That's a whole lot of people. Some of them may be a bit dull, but surely there's at least one in 92 million people who isn't. And it's unfair to lump him with the 91,999,999 dumb people because he lives with them.

Now that's stretching the truth to breaking point. Remember the school I told you? Philippine Science High School? There are eleven campuses comprising the system: the main campus, found in Diliman, Quezon City, and ten regional campuses, one of which is found in Jaro, Iloilo City and which happens to be my alma mater. On top of that are two more campuses in the making. In the regional campuses, each of the four year levels are divided into three sections, whereas in the main campus there are eight sections. Each section has 30 students.

If you don't want to do the math, let me do it for you. There are at most 240 students per year level in the main campus, which amounts to 960 students maximum. Each of the regional campuses has 90 students per year level, which amounts to 360 students. That, multiplied by the ten campuses, plus the 960 from the main campus, amounts to 4560 science students with ages less than 18. Here's a news clipping about a few of them.

Here's another one featuring Fred Nyll Tupas, whom I know personally.

And here's a whole lot of them, featuring Carmela Antoinette Lao, whom I kind of came across when I was actively participating in these math thingies. I think she's one year younger than me.

Oh, and she's not one of the 4560 students from PSHS. She came from St. Jude Catholic School, which is not a part of the PSHS system fyi.

Okay so, now that I've presented the facts and the numbers, don't you think it's a bit unfair to label the whole Philippines as a bunch of pretty fucking stupid people simply because of one incident that happened in one place? You can say all you want about how it happens in the Philippines all the time but no, it doesn't. For the record, never have I seen a gun being used, except in the movies. Never have I seen a person die of a gunshot wound in front of me. Never have I been taken hostage, and never has anyone I know personally been taken hostage. I've lived in this country for seventeen years and chances are, you've seen more violence that I ever have, not counting the movies.

I don't condone what happened concerning the disgraced policeman. I don't condone the actions of the police, I don't condone how they handled it, I don't condone the fact that they received insufficient training. But, please, stop generalizing. Stop saying that the Filipinos are stupid because their police acted stupidly. Stop saying that the Filipinos hold tourist buses hostage because the Mendoza guy did. Stop, just stop. Not all the Filipinos are like that and it hurts when we're seen as such even if we've already done everything just to stay clean and actually be good citizens of the world.

~
On a lighter note, I want a pair of these:

On the 11th day to the -ber months

Dear Christmas,

Please keep the I'M BURNING!!!! heat away.

I wish this year's -ber months would be a lot cooler. It kind of sucks that all this country has is a hot season and a wet season. I hate it when it's hot and I hate it when it's wet. Awesome.

Hopefully the -ber months would be cold with just a little drizzle. Or something. I just hate it when I walk outside and I'm drenched because I am either sweating or walking in the rain. Come on. Be coooold.

That is all. I'm thinking I should learn how to make shoes. I find the shoes in shoe stores pretty boring and even if I don't, they're usually not my size.

PS. This is what I currently want:

Thank Jane Aldridge for me wanting those shoes so bad.

Birthday wishes

Today is my older sister's birthday. We went to our little retreat house thing in the mountains and this is what I wore:

Promod shirt, Calvin Klein pants, Dr. Martens boots

 

I prefer to keep my identity private, thanks. And yeah, that's a bottle of something with 5% alcohol. Haha. I wasn't drunk.

That is all. Thank you.

I'm the least stylish person you'll ever know.

I'm stuck in the 90s, and I wasn't even conscious for most of it.

This is what I wore yesterday. I call this my sick costume.

See them in all their unedited glory.

That's a French Connection hoodie dress thing that I slap on top of whatever I'm wearing when I have to go somewhere and I don't feel like changing. And those are the Dr. Martens boots with the normal laces, as promised.

Also, a few things I got from my awesome mom:

I have no idea if they're real Tory Burch flats, but I don't really care much because they're really fun to wear. Mom bought these for school, anyway. Also, nobody around here knows who Tory Burch is. Kinda sad.

That's a pretty iconic design known around the world, but not around here. Whatever.

It's the Bottega Veneta Intrecciato design, and God knows how many copies of the you can find here. I'll give you a hint: So many that if I lugged that around, people would think I bought that off a cheapskate boutique down the road. You know, those boutiques that sell Coach copies with the Gucci logo, or the LV copies with the frayed stitches, or the iconic YSL muse with the Burberry fabric. Those kinds of cheapskate boutiques.

I can't care less for the authenticity of the Tory Burch flats, but I care a lot for bags. I care for them so much that you wouldn't catch me dead with a copy. Sorry.

That's pretty much all I have to say now. Mom bought herself a YSL Tribute from a seller who had no idea how much those really are, and I hope I get it soon enough. :)

Down with the sickness

I have a cold.

I'm going to mess with my clothes until I get them right. I always keep complaining about how I don't have enough clothes – I do, actually, I just don't wear them.

:)

I'm not in the mood to write something long

so you're in luck. I dropped by only to say this:

I'm currently taking up Biology and my older sister, four years my senior, is taking up Medicine. We're both in the same university.

These are the results from the Physician Board Exam just this August 2010:

I just revealed my location. My school is the second school, and it was also my parents' school. Both my parents are doctors and my dad graduated valedictorian. He's also one of the people who topped the board.

Just a little tidbit: I passed for the first, the Pontifical and Royal University of Santo Tomas (yes, that apparently is its whole name) and I wanted, but didn't qualify, for the third. I had a nervous breakdown when I didn't manage to qualify. My parents didn't want us in UST – my sister wanted to take up medicine there previously – because it was a bit too far, and it's in Manila, which, if you ask me, isn't the best place to live in, rich or poor.

I'm sorry. I like my backwards province. I can list a whole lot of reasons why I like it better than Manila.

That's technically it. Thanks for reading and have a nice day.

I'll attempt writing a review.

I just picked these up from the courier office thing:

I'm still to take a good enough picture of it. I just went and snapped every moment I wanted to catch with it coming out of the box, never mind if my stuff was all over the frame. But anyway. The Dr. Martens Johari 12-eye boots. I got them because I'm a good kid and I graduated from high school a few months back. I just got these because my cute little country doesn't have any Dr. Martens distributor. They're pretty much unknown around here, so they were forced to pull out. I had to ask my mom's brother to get me a pair because I crave for them so badly.

The moment we arrived at the pick-up station, I was kind of scared because I might have grown out of the Dr. Martens craze and I might actually regret it. I went down anyway, and when the guy in the office asked to if I wanted to check it out to see if it was damaged in transit (it wasn't), I had to oblige.

I had a quiet fan girl moment after I sliced open the duct tape covering the opening. It's the little silverish grayish line you see on the side of the box. It's covered with a second layer of packaging tape because I had it closed again. Hey, I had to take pictures of me getting them out of the box!

So I did. And I laced up the ribbon laces and wore them around the house. Just so you know, I live in a tropical country and it wasn't the coldest of days. Nothing was stopping me from stomping around, though. Absolutely nothing.

Here's the review part:

I got me a US size 5. There are two reasons why: one, I really am a size 5 (UK 3); two, it's the smallest size available. I'm a UK 2 when it comes to Dr. Martens shoes. They run large.

Also, I see a few snapshots of Dr. Martens boots and the toe area is kind of flat. This one isn't. In fact, I think I can hide my cellphone in the toe area while walking down the street. No, I was kidding, but it really has a lot of room to make me wiggle my toes. That's on top of the fact that it really is a little big. It's okay, though.

The shoes came with two pairs of shoe laces. One is the satin pair shown on the Nordstrom website:

The other pair, which I'm currently using on my shoes, is the pair featured on the Macy's website:

I wanted to stick with the satin laces at first because it made such a statement, but it was hard to pair it with clothes. You have to make your outfit extremely understated and I currently don't have those, so I settled for the low maintenance plain old shoe laces. They are extremely long, by the way. If I can I'll show you a picture of my shoes with those laces.

Other stuff about the boots are that it's made of raw leather (which is what Dr. Martens shoes are made of) and it has a removable insole which is kind of hard to put back. It's also not very tall, which is good since I'm not the tallest kid around.

That's all I have to say now, folks. Have a good day.

No, I have not died.

I have only gone on to college. Yes. College. I'm actually in it.

I'm reading – skimming through – a few fashion blogs and honestly, as much as I love reading them and seeing what they can do with a few seemingly unrelated items, I can't help but think why they're supposed to have a whole shelf full of shoes. Personally shoes aren't something I'd spend a whole lot on because they wear and tear anyway, and the trends go out so quickly, plus most of the in shoes are (a) very very high heels and (b) do not come in my size. I have a pair of Roberto Cavalli Angels sneakers and they're pretty worn. Yes, Angels. Kids' shoes.

Don't get me wrong. Shoes are lovely and splurging once in a while for the perfect pair is healthy, but I just don't understand why you ought to have a WHOLE LOT of them.

Which reminds me. Maybe I should to a project thingy like the One Dress One Year thing (it's really called that, isn't it?). Except it's with a pair of shoes. If I pull it off, I'll be really awesome, since I plan to do it not with a pair of black flats, but with a pair of Dr. Martens boots that aren't exactly the plainest in the market.

Wish me luck?

Oh, and another thing: Soon enough you can use this particular post against me, because soon enough I'll be the girl with the whole shelf full of shoes.

Is there a workshop on how to write relevant titles?

Because it's really my weakness. It doesn't help that back when I wrote for the school paper, they assigned other people to write the titles.

Oh well.

Anyway, I'm writing this because I just re-watched one of Charlie McDonnell's older videos, specifically this one.

No, I don't know how to embed videos into my posts, but that's a link. For your information.

I agree with everything he said there. Why should people care about what's going on with the people they see on TV? Why should Britney Spears eating frozen yogurt be breaking news? Why should we buy a sandwich with the intention of looking like Mischa Barton?

Personally I hate it when people put so much effort in trying to make these people look bad. There they are, doing what they want to do, and some no-name goes out and makes them look like a bunch of freaks because they're doing what they want to do. It's horrible.

And another thing, because I left the previous post hanging. I don't believe hell exists. I believe in a greater force, but I don't believe He's going to send us to burn for eternity if we do something wrong. How is that a loving God?

I even don't think God is a father, you know? That's biased. That's male chauvinism. That's unfair.

So what I believe in is, there's this greater force governing everything from the biggest galaxies to the smallest quarks or strings or whatever, and we're all subject to this force, these laws. It's largely scientific, but you have to admit, that's what religion is saying, too. There's no point trying to argue whether religion is better than science or vice versa, because they're really just one and the same.

Also, I kind of believe in reincarnation. I haven't grasped the idea very well yet, but I kind of do. :) And I think this hell we talk about is just being reincarnated as something that's hell relative to your previous reincarnation.

Yeah. That's technically it. What do you think?

Enlightenment?

This morning on the way home I talked to my mom about this little belief I put together out of all the existing religions.

I told her I don't believe in hell. She told me she doesn't, either. And I'm gonna tell you that, too.

I was born and raised a Christian, but recently I've been questioning it. All the Christians preach about a loving Father who cherishes each and everyone of his children – and condemns some of them to eternal damnation? They preach about Jesus, who is the Way, the Truth and the Life – and if you don't believe in that, you go to hell.

Wait, what?

The one thing I hated about thinking that there's such thing as hell is the fact that it makes you live everyday in fear. I don't think God or whatever you believe in would want that. Whatever that force is would want you to be happy.

I'd love to elaborate but I have to do it some other time because I'm kind of sleepy. :)

I don't have much to write about.

It's gonna be a bit disjointed since I'm going to write whatever pops into my head.

I'm currently listening to JC's newest song, Don't Stop. I think it came out on his MySpace. Which reminds me, what browser does he use? I use Firefox and his MySpace layout looks pretty screwed. Damn.

Also, I want to learn how to play the guitar for real after I listened closely to "All Day Long I Dream About Sex". Yeah. and I almost looked up the lyrics for his song "Come To Me". In fact, I did, but the Internet was pretty slow so the search engine was loaded right when he said "When I'm all alone, I lie awake and –" I decided to forget about it. Ha.

I'm in college! Crap. It feels weird. I haven't made a lot of friends because I find them all of a different frequency. To be honest, this person I tend to tag along with, I'm only sticking with him because I knew him back in high school. We weren't even that close and I actually hated him.

I'm going to make sure I don't type my deepest darkest secrets concerning the people I have my classes with, just in case they stumble upon this and see crap written about them. But, yeah, I'm not exactly the biggest fan of a few people in my class. I almost liked one of them until she slammed me and I went like, "What the fuck, bitch?" in my head. Hey, I have to put on this happy face all the time so it would look like I actually understand the things they say to me.

I don't.

Do listen to Don't Stop. It's not his best song, but it's pretty good. I mean, I wouldn't want him to be known for that song because I think his ballads are way better, but it's worth listening to.
He used Autotune, but I think he used it kind of like an instrument and not as an aid in singing. Come on, this guy has shown the world what he can do with his voice. He doesn't need Autotune to make him sing.

Mimi, anyone?

In the same day I found out that Mariah Carey can sing an A2 (that killed me) and JC used autotune in the Teenage Wildlife sample (that KILLED me). I also got to hear Georgia Brown singing in the whistle register. It sounded pretty funny.

Oh, and that very well known Minnie Riperton whistle? I sing that. Just a few octaves lower, in my modal voice. I can't do whistle. At least, I haven't been able to do so. Apparently any girl can do it, but I'm yet to hear myself.

I'm a teenager, yet I can't hear this mosquito tone everyone raved about. I can hear from 50Hz to 16000Hz. Apparently the mosquito thing is 17000Hz.

Mariah Carey is really really really making me want to look for a contralto vocal coach. And no, I still pretty much hero-worship JC (though I abstained from listening to him for a few hours - that's how much respect I can lose for someone who so much as thinks of using autotune) but Mariah just got higher up there. I wanna see if I can do the whistle register and then do what Georgia Brown did. That was fun to listen to.

As much as I like the things I've written on here

I can't compromise my safety.

I figured it's somehow better if I write about things other than myself, because it keeps me from divulging anything that anyone might find useful in tracking me down. I should just be a normal blogger who writes about things not concerning me too much. Like 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys and the fact that I like power ballads according to my mom.

No one can compromise safety, kids. No one should.